The curse of the internet generation

The whole world at your fingertips, but you don't know how to type.

Beauty is everything

If beauty were everything, nothing would be ugly.

Why I'm in there so long

When I'm in the shower, I have a pleasant unawareness that the clock is ticking. It's as if time has stopped.

I'm much hotter than she is

Is it sad knowing your best quality is the way you look?

I am the conductor of the drama train. Choo choo.

Wait, that's a lie. I've never had real drama in any of my relationships. They all love me and I break up with them; I could use a little adventure.

That girl is poison

I wasn't even considering trying to make a play for the girl with the boyfriend. And, even if I was going to make a play, my strategy would be not to make a play.

If my eyes were a camera

Now isn't that a pretty picture.

Everyone is jaded

Am I the only person in this world whose open arms do not carry a shield?

Be careful; don't burn your tongue

You can't burn your tongue when you can spit fire.

There's a reason they're angry

People are generally juvenile, though, and you can't expect them always to rise above some relative trivialities.